It is with deep sadness that I inform you all of my intentions to retire from the world of Fantasy Football.
This was not an easy decision for me, but after 15 years of managing waiver wire pick ups, deciding on last minute lineup changes, and yelling at Jake Delhomme for fumbling the fucking ball for the umpteenth time, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m mentally exhausted with the game (of fantasy.)
During this offseason, I could tell my time with Fantasy Football was over. Gone were the days in June when I’d go out to the nearest Borders to look for the Fantasy Football Index magazine. Instead, I found myself reading the daily Nebraska Cornhusker articles on Huskerpedia.com. I was clearly losing interest...and fast.
It was never about the money, or the fame, or the records. It was about the love of the game. But over the past few years, Fantasy Football stopped being fun for me. This was especially true for me last year.
In one league, I convinced myself to draft Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady, the Devil, in the first round. That decision forced myself to cheer for him against my beloved Miami Dolphins two times a year. It was then that I knew how Dan Akroyd and Daniel Stern felt in “Celtic Pride.”
In another league, Wes Welker was the key to a championship year after I selected him the 3rd round. I celebrated for weeks after that championship game. n But during those weeks of nerdy bliss, deep down inside I knew I had betrayed the Dolphins by going with him over running back Ronnie Brown, who was selected two picks later. Decisions like that were what was ruining the game for me.
So I’m choosing to step away from Fantasy Football so I can focus on the more important things in life: The Miami Dolphins and the Nebraska Cornhuskers. No longer will I be scouting the backup running back for the Cleveland Browns, but rather I’ll be on phins.com reading the newest article about our third string nose tackle, Travis Ivey. And no longer will I have to watch another Raiders/Lions game because I have Kevin Jones in my lineup. Instead I can watch games that actually matter...you know, because football games matter...right?
I never really thought about this as retirement, but rather as a graduation. I don’t know what that means, but both John Elway and Junior Seau used that phrase in their speeches and I’ve always thought of myself as an Elway/Seau Hybrid Fantasy Football Manager. I don’t know what that means either.
I’ll miss the smack talk. I’ll miss yelling at the TV when Brian Westbrook takes a knee at the one yard line. I’ll miss wasting hours of my life setting lineups for a team no one wants to hear me talk about.
