Country Music Is To Baseball As...

There might be only two things that Tyler Gloe and I have in common. We both enjoy Country Music (albeit he might have a little more knowledge on the subject than me) and thanks to growing up on Cal Ripken Jr, we both enjoy America's Pastime. Our love for both subjects led to a random conversation, comparing Country Music Artists to their Baseball Player Equivalents. From that conversation, we have been able to figure out that

Country Music Is To Baseball As...

George Strait is to Nolan Ryan

Both have had long and the most prolific careers anyone could hope for in their respective positions. George Strait with his 44 #1 hits, 4 more than Conway Twitty, and Ryan with his 7 No Hitters, 3 more than Koufax. Also, though I like country, I honestly couldn't pick George Strait's face out of a lineup. He doesn't have a nose like Paisley nor a goatee like McGraw. I imagine hardcore country fans with a broad knowledge of Baseball feel the same way about Ryan.

Brad Paisley is to David Ortiz

This one is timed perfectly. Both started their careers off fairly slowly. It took Paisley to get to his 3rd Album ("Mud on the Tires") until he really hit it big, and it was Papi's 2nd team after 6 years of mediocre play with the Twins until he really hit it FAR. 2003 was the magic year for both of them; Paisley collaborated with Allison Krauss for "Whiskey Lullaby" which was the #1 music video on CMT, and Ortiz collaborated with Manny Ramirez and The Boston Red Sox for the team's 1st World Series in 86 years. Over the next 6 years both have been consistently at the top of their game (and let's ignore Papi's performance this year, just like we're all going to ignore Paisley's Instrumental Heavy Album, "Play"). Also, no one hates either of these two guys. When Papi played 1st Base, he'd joke with every guy who stepped on the bag. Heck, he even jokes around with This Douche. And who HASN'T Paisley gotten chummy with? These are probably the two most liked guys in their respective professions, and for good reason.

Willie Nelson is to Cal Ripken Jr.

Who else could you compare the legendary "The Iron Man" to except the legend who's looking so old that he might need an Iron Lung in the near future? Both of these iconic players had ups and downs in their career, but were for the most part the most consistent out of any of their peers. Now they're both at the point of their careers where they don't really do much, but when their name's are mentioned they're always looked at fondly. Also, how do you think Ripken Jr. was able to relax his muscles so that they'd never tear? He Got High All The Time! After all, did you know that Ripken broke the Most Consecutive Games Record by exactly 420 games? Coincidence? I think not. (That fact is absolutely false)

Tim McGraw is to Derek Jeter

As an anti-Yankee fan, as well as an anti-McGraw fan, this one makes perfect sense. Sure, I hate Tim McGraw as well as Derek Jeter, but at the end of the day I can't help but respect both of them for being so damn good at what they do and with how they carry themselves as professionals. Sure, McGraw takes all the credit away from his Song Writers, just like Jeter took all the credit away from his Yankees' solid pitching staff back in the late 90's, but both of them aren't necessarily awful. Both are great with the ladies: McGraw gets Faith Hill, Jeter gets Jordana Brewster, Mariah Carey, AND Minka Kelly just to name a few! Heck, both Jeter and McGraw think that people want to know what they smell like! And lastly, both fellas think that Comedy is a strength of theirs...Case in Point: Derek Jeter's Taco Hole, and Tim McGraw with Blizzard Man

Garth Brooks is to Michael Jordan

This one is a bit of a stretch, since a small sampling of fans think Jordan was known more as a Basketball player than a Baseball Slugger, but for the sake of making this comparison work, just go with it. Because let's face it, there's no Real baseball equivalent to Brooks, a man who changed his genre, than Jordan, a man who literally changed the game of Basketball.

Also, neither of these two should have tried Baseball...at all. Technically, comparing Brooks to baseball and Jordan to Baseball isn't exactly accurate. Rather, it should be Jordan is to Baseball as Garth Brooks is to Chris Gaines, Brooks' Alternate Personality. In 1999, Jordan retired from the sport he dominated for a decade, and Brooks left Country, a music genre whose identity was completed turned upside down because of him, so he could promote his alternative rock character for his movie project, "The Lamb." Neither should have left. But when they came back, they were just as good as ever. Jordan won 3 more titles, and Brooks (EVENTUALLY) came with a good hit in "Good Ride Cowboy," a tribute to his deceased friend, Chris LeDoux.

Chris LeDoux is to Kirby Puckett

Speaking of Chris LeDoux.... here are two Hall of Famers who will still probably never get the credit they deserve. This could likely be because both left their professions years before they planned, therefore never getting the Curtain Call Final Year Treatment like other Hall of Famers like Cal Ripken Jr was able to have. LeDoux died of Liver Cancer while he was still out Touring, and Puckett was forced to retire when Glaucoma overtook his vision. Both never were at the top of their profession, as Kirby never won the MVP Award and LeDoux's best single ("Cadillac Ranch") only reached #18 on the Billboard Top 40 for country.

Kellie Pickler is to Chris Davis

People who sort of listen to Country Music would hear Kellie Pickler's name and say "Who?" Same goes for Semi Baseball Fans hearing Chris Davis' name. But their own industries can identify these two in the same way: Overhyped and only good for one thing: Davis for his Long Bomb potential and Pickler for her Large Bombs. Pickler got a little too much praise too early for her performance of "I Wonder" (which I still get goosebumps over) and Davis got a little too much excitement from Fantasy Baseball owners after Davis' strong 2nd half performance in 2008. (Even BIGGER goosebumps looking at that 40 HR potential)...

Since then, we've found out that Pickler doesn't have THAT great of a voice, and Chris Davis strikes out WAAAAY too much. There's still hope for these two to turn things around (Pickler smartly sticking close to Taylor Swift and Davis possibly realizing that it's okay to take a pitch or two) but for now, they're both a little to big for their britches. (btw, does this picture of Pickler feature the most bizarre prom outfit ever? I wish I grew up in North Carolina....)

Toby Keith is to Roger Clemens

Only fitting to have the Texan and Oklahoman paired together. Despite both having very prolific careers, it's always what they do outside of their profession that gives them the most attention. Clemens is still being asked by Congress and the MLB to apologize for using Performance Enhancing Drugs, while I think a lot of America is still waiting for Keith to apologize for his Ford Commercials. (Seriously, Toby, don't you have any more moves other than pumping your fist in the air and screaming?) Even their feuds are highly publicized: Clemens vs. Piazza and Keith vs. The Reporter.

Taylor Swift is to Dustin Pedroia

If you're not passionate about Taylor Swift and her ballads that resonate with teenage girls all over, then you hate the living beejesus out of her. If you don't appreciate the scrappiness and blue collar approach to the plate that Dustin Pedroia provides for the Red Sox, then you wish he'd go back to The Shire with Frodo where he belongs. I mean, just look at their two pictures above. Either you think they look hot/bad ass, or like the two most egotistical jerks in the industry.

Truth is though, unfortunately for the haters, both of these two stars are going to be around for a long time. Swift, while collecting countless Country Music Awards, is even managing to cross over to different genres (although maybe just as a joke) and Pedroia is beloved by his Red Sox fans (so he's not going anywhere), and also seems to be friends to some of the more respected players in the league.

Shania Twain is to Bo Jackson

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Shania Twain was the first legitimate Sex Symbol in Country Music, right? I mean, if you don't count Dolly's Partons, that is. Same goes for Bo Jackson, but that's in regards to how amazing it was to play with him on Tecmo Super Bowl. Both were mutli-platform performers, as Shania can do more than Country (does she even look close to Country in the picture above?), and we all know what Bo Knows. Was this comparison just an excuse to post Bo Jackson Videos? Maybe, but it was also an excuse to post Shania Twain Photos (would you believe there's no online video for Jackson's Wall Run? Ridiculous)

Rascal Flatts is to Alex Rodriguez

Let's face it: Rascal Flatts and Alex Rodriguez are douches. Sure, they both have their little niche of fans (13 year old girls/13 year old Yankees fans), but the overwhelming majority of people agree that both of these two suck. From Rascal Flatt's inexcusable "Me and My Gang" to A-Rod kissing himself in the mirror, neither of these two have redeemable qualities.

Even if you try to defend them, you fail. After all, they both had great moments: Rascal Flatts and the heart breaking song "Skin;" and remember that time when A-Rod showed class by moving Ripken Jr over to SS in The Iron Man's final All Star Game? You'd think that'd make them likable...but then you realize Rascal Flatts didn't even write "Skin," Contemporary Christian Artist Matthew West wrote it. And you just KNOW someone else told ARod that he had to give up the SS spot for Ripken (just like he'd eventually have to give up SS to Jeter when he joined the Yankees). Even when they do something worth while, it's not even their own doing.