Saturday, January 24, 2009

Hey A-Hole, Joke's On You!

Until last night I had failed to find anything wrong with Austin, TX. For 5 months I've lived here and there's not one thing I could honestly say I disliked about the place. Warm weather, one of the best downtown environments a college town has to offer...I've even found a place in my heart to love Leslie.

But last night/this morning is when Austin finally crossed the line. After watching a great Brett Dennen show and meeting a few friends for drinks at The Library (for all Nebraskans, that's much cooler than it sounds), I find out that my car was broken into. Now, everyone who has lived at the SigEp House in Omaha on 33rd and Harney has had their car broken into at least once, so it's not like I hadn't experienced this phenomenon of taking-someone-elses-stuff-like-a-coward-because-they-are-a**holes before. But I had yet to experience the break in via brick, which as a result ended up shattering my passenger side window.

Seriously, people of Austin, what the Hell? Like Ace Ventura to the Wachootoos, I was unaware you were brick throwers! I mean, you can't just break into my car-- you have to throw a brick, costing me 200 bucks in damage repair. At least if you just steal something then someone's still benefitting. But when you break the window, that's just unneccessary! One more of these occurances, and I just might break up with you. (I'm kidding, I'll just have to deal with the love-hate relationship...I don't think I could ever break up with you)

The worst part about all of this is what was stolen:

-1 XM Radio Receiver
-1 Charger for my GPS
-1 Briefcase

The best part is that it's all worthless:
-The receiver is an old model, and I canceled the subscription today (which only I can renew). If anything, it can be sold for 5 bucks.

-The charger was tangled with the XM Radio cords, which is likely why it was taken. The GPS Tracker, thankfully, was tucked underneath my seat and was left unfound. So congrats, I'm sure that Charger will fetch for another 5 bucks on ebay.

-The Briefcase had absolutely nothing of importance in there, monetary speaking, and most of my co-workers called the briefcase a purse...so way to go
I guess what really irritates me the most is that someone failed to break and steal something of value. There was nothing gained from the whole experience. In fact, just in case somewhere out there the Cowardly AHole is reading this, here are a few things you could have taken, but didn't:


Sticks of Chapstick
It was during this time, after noticing TWO sticks of supposedly lost chapstick, that I realized I really need to clean out my car.


Items From The Trunk

When I returned to my car, not only was the window shattered, but the trunk was also slightly open. My guess is that you were still looking for my GPS, and thought I might have hid it in the trunk. Since it wasn't there, you ended up not taking anything. How do you not take a perfectly good 6 pack of Diet Coke or Dr. Pepper!? However, I understand why you didn't take my Portable Car Charger or my Bike Rack...you probably don't own a car, after all, someone could easily break into it.


Brookshire Brothers Monopoly Game

As you can see, I'm only a Lays Potato Chip and a Fritos Sticker away from winning $2,500 worth of Gas Money. I'm okay with people stealing stuff, as long as it's got a monetary value, because I get that's how the world sometimes works. But if you had stolen this, something I've worked hard at by flirting with the cashier in order for me to get an extra 5 game pieces each time I purchase a bottle of water, I might have cried.


My CDs

Sure, the only CDs in the sleeves were Jason Mraz, Justin Timberlake, John Mayer, and a few Sales CDs from Family Heritage, but seriously, who doesn't want to listen to why Field Recruiting is Important? Maybe you could have used it to recruit others to break cars all across Austin?! You've got to think about the future! True success in thievery begins with Field Recruiting.



5 Dollars Worth of Change

I understand not going for the pennies, but there was an entire stack of quarters. How do you not just take that and put it in your pocket? This is probably the most confusing miss for me.


Hand Sanitizer

Then again, who needs Hand Sanitizer when you wear gloves all the time?


Stamps

You know, for when you'll need to write to your family from jail.

Now that I've got that off my chest, feel free to comment on if a similar situation has happened to you. Broken glass, meaningless items taken while others were left untouched, or even just a good story to make me feel like it's not Austin's fault, but that it happens everywhere.